Essay on Marriage : Meaning, Functions and Forms

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English has some apparently contrary proverbs. I willattempt to reconcile some of them.

Before India became independent and the British formulated the legal system, Hindu marriages were governed by local customs and Hindu law books. The law books prescribed a strict code of conduct to regulate the institution of marriage and safeguard the interests of the couples engaged in marriage. The laws were mostly caste and gender specific and traditionally favored men rather than women. They recognized eight types of marriages. It is however unclear, how far people feared followed the law books. We may safely assume that the law books were enforced mostly in Vedic communities among the upper castes. Where the Vedic influence was weak, people probably followed the local customs. The eight types of traditional marriages recognized in Hindu law books are listed below. Of them, the first four considered lawful (prashasta) and the last four unlawful (aprahasta). Traditionally, the first two were popular among the higher castes and the last two among criminals and outcastes.

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1. Hindu marriages are expensive and often drain the families, especially the bride's family.

Most Hindu marriages are arranged marriages. Even in love marriages, the couple prefer marrying in the traditional style in the presence of their parents and families. A Hindu marriage is an elaborate social engagement and contract, in which elder on both sides play an important role in fixing the marriage, performing the ceremony and supporting the couple until they settle down. If any disputes arise between couples in the early stages of marriage, the elders usually interfere to save the marriage. Since elders act as counselors, marriage counseling is not a popular profession in India as it is in the West. Divorce rates in Hindu families are also comparatively less. Most couples stay in the marriage, even if they have problems of compatibility, due to social pressures and family obligations, or to save the reputation of their families.

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Hindu marriage ceremonies are colorful, and the celebration may extend for days depending upon the social and economic status of the bride and the bridegroom. In some respects, they also present a huge, social and economic problem to Hindu families, since they have to spend a lot of money to organize the event and keep the guests and relations happy with proper arrangements.

From the Buddhist point of view, marriage is neither holy nor unholy

Pre marriage rituals include a formal get-together of the families on both sides, usually at the bride's place, to facilitate a meeting between the bride and the groom. Once they give their mutual consent, parents proceed with other arrangement such as fixing the marriage date, writing a formal declaration of marriage called the lagna patrika, choosing the marriage hall (mandap), finalizing the guest lists, printing the invitation cards, exchanging gifts, and reaching a formal agreement about dowry and duties and responsibilities of both sides during the marriage function, etc.

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A lot of importance is attached to marriages in Hinduism since it is considered an integral part of man's obligatory duty upon earth to get married, procreate children, ensure the continuation of the family lineage, serve the ancestors and God in ensuring the order and regularity of the worlds.

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The common marriage rituals include inviting the bridegroom to the marriage place called mandap, giving away the daughter as a gift to the groom called kanyadan, tying a knot called mangalsutra, holding the bride's hands and accepting her called panigrahan, and walking seven steps together around the fire altar called saptapadi. All the rituals are performed by a Vedic priest accompanied by appropriate Vedic chants. The marriage is performed in the presence of gods as the witnesses. As in other Vedic sacrifices, Agni, the fire God acts as the primary recipient of the offerings that are made to gods in the marriage. The bride is also one of the offerings. The Chants which are used in the marriage ceremony are mainly in Sanskrit. However, the priests also use native languages while giving instructions to the groom and the bride during the ceremony to help them perform the rituals, take the oaths or chant the mantras.