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The purpose of the essay is to reveal something personal about yourself to the admissions committee that isn’t conveyed elsewhere in the application. The first essay didn’t work because it was analysis of the merits of two versions of a song. I’m surprised that the crossword puzzle essay was offered as an essay that worked — it seems unoriginal, forced, overly dramatic, self-coscious. I read plenty of those as an admissions officer. The debate one worked because it revealed the author as an observant, empathetic and mature person. And for jello — I think that could have been a very funny essay with some good editing, and perhaps may have revealed the author as a quirky kid with a good sense of humor.
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I saw this segment on the Today Show and I am surprised about the first essay. I understand the concept of Glee being a new show and seeming juvenile, but it isn’t. I find the show rather creative for taking older songs, modernizing them, and reintroducing them to a new generation of people. Not to mention it adds new life to a song already loved by the older generation who watch the show as well. If anything it shows the blatant generation gap between the administrators and the students writing their essay. John Lennon was a great artist but it doesn’t mean I’m obligated to be a fan, nor is this student. People should respect the difference of opinion. This student was honest enough to say he/she didn’t like the song and why when performed by John Lennon, but found beauty in the song he/she previously dismissed when performed by a group of deaf children. I think that shows a strong sense of self in the student which was, unfortunately, overlooked.
An essay has been defined in a variety of ways
It’s not the topic, or it’s generational relationship to the reader, it’s the writing, Sentence structure, organization, rhetorical flourish; the good essays have all three of these. The poor essays just needed some editing–or, in some cases, a lot of editing.
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Although the essays chosen as the “good” examples are well-written, I found the other 2 more interesting. Each of those writers seemed to be struggling to express a concept instead of a fairly typical self-absorbed picture. Obviously. the “good” essays are easier to identify with, but they are also rather juvenile. Our education system tends to reward the neat package, not the messy one. I’d like to think that both sets of essay writers deserve an excellent education.