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Which is not to say that Jodi Picoult hasn’t chosen her role. She may very well want to spend all day with her children and stay up at night working. Aside from our cultural expectation that women should spread themselves thin in order to spend time with their children, there is also the bald fact that some women want to. God knows, even if we could afford a nanny or daycare, the idea of someone else taking care of the baby makes me uneasy. He’s my baby. The three year old is my boy. If he told a nanny that he and the other boys saw a leprechaun spit on the slide, she wouldn’t get to the bottom of it; she’d just let it go because who even knew what that weird little boy was saying now. It takes a mother to continue questioning all the way until you ascertain that the leprechaun spit is actually bird poop. You cannot pay someone to care about your kids the way you do. You cannot pay someone to be you.

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Hey Rufi, thank you! You struck so many chords with my own sentiments. I am a mother of 2 daughters (one11 year old and one 3 weeks old, yes, the 11 year gap). I am a full time teacher/researcher on study leave for 2 measly two months, which, is a privilege already in my country. Husband is away for his PhD, and we basically only chat on video during wee hours when he is studying and while I am breastfeeding. Life is certainly a roller coaster. How do I channel my sentiments and rant with my days at home when he is also battling daily with his studies and his professors, nope. Just thankful I don’t need pick-up his underwear though. The challenge is when the maternity leave is over…..Keep on writing. You are an inspiration. I’m sharing your essay!